I'm visiting my past, it's nice and cosy here. Many friends are here, too, and the warm glow of their love, that I felt in all those letters and messages in Mexico, feels warm on my skin when the sun does not. The nights are usually cold, the stars pale against the colourful lamps on our terrace, but at least we're sitting outside. There were parties and gatherings, stories and drinks passed around, not much changes within 7 months, apart from Maria's belly. We go to the park and play frisbee, some of us naked when the heavy rains come. Dogs need to be walked, fresh veggies to be picked up from the community and realtives to be drunken coffee with. We went swimming in an old gravel pit (cause lakes are scarce around Dresden) on a windy day, the water was cold and turquoise blue, like the Tampaon river in SLP, Mexico. Some of my friends complained about the noise of the motorcycles, because the large sandy area is like an off-road adventure park. In Mexico, everybody would have brought speakers to go out on the weekend and played reggaeton at a volume to make you wanna stay underwater, so I didn't understand what the fuss is about. There's no right to privacy when you're in public.
The silence creeps me out sometime. It's like enjoying the peace and quiet one day and then being driven nuts by it on the next. Look at the neighbour's, the grass is so much greener! Maik and I are unemployed until September probably, to enjoy the summer in Dresden before we move to Berlin, and we spent a lot of time at home. Living with 5 good friends fills up the hours easily, there's always someone to talk to. Our lives haven't changed much from being in Mexico, we sleep long, busy ourselves with small talks and watch the days roll by. And yet, somehow, there's s much emptiness in between, times of mental boredom and physical paralysis. I'm now ready to wake up from this hibernation but I haven't heard adventure knocking on my door. Nobody has pulled my sleeve to take me out into the unknown. Everbody does their own thing, and mine is dreaming.
So many people here and all of them busy. I'm lonley and I have to pretend that it doesn't bother me. Coffee and music are still my dearest companions, I forgot how much Neil Young has saved my life in the past. How do others motivate themselves to be so busy without a job? Who can tell, they all have one... And those of my flatmates working the most are the most active when they come home, running from one event to the next. Things are moving fast here, and I'm the hippo on the rollercoaster...
So everything's fine on an absurd level, except that I left a piece of my heart in Mexico, naturally. What were the things I wanted to take home, the positiv spirit I swore to infect the stiff Germans with? Always be nice to strangers, even if they're from the same town. Don't take things personal and yourself too serious, but remember your family and how frickin' rich you (probably) are. Well, it's not quite working, maybe it's not hot enough here or I wasn't exposed to optimism long enough, but my old friend sarcasm and I caught up with each other real quick. The phase of enthusiasm after our return starts to wear off, but, please: don't let it bring you down.
So yeah, it's great being back. But also, I don't belong here, where I have no purpose, no problems, no prospects. It's time to move on. Besides, everybody knows this is nowhere, noone is bored enough to even read this. But for those who did, more tunes!
PS: Did you find all the Neil Young titles?
