a different world

Aloha from the Island! It's very warm and I'm thinking about hitching to the ocean, if I knew which direction to go... A cold shower in the back of my dorm, under the palm trees, that'll be just as great. I came to town today to get some things done, do some shopping for things that don't grow on the farm, check my emails, see what the date it is etc. Because in Cinderland there's no time, every day I wake up and wonder what time it is until I realize it doesn't matter. Yes, we work and we make appointments but people never know exactly what time it is. No, I'm not the only one without a cell phone, instead those who have one are the excotic kinds!

So what's new? Well, two nights ago it was too early to go to bed because the moon was still almost full and with only a few clouds we could walk around without our headlights on. A guy called Rob and I set out for the mermaid ponds, about 30mins away from Cinderland. When we turned right into the woods, we found ourselves under huge mango trees, beautifully illuminated here and there by the silver moon light, the scent of flowers still floating in the warm night breeze and no sounds but the frogs and birds in the jungle, and a distant drummer (possibly sleepless). There were some noises behind the low scrubs, which turned out to be wild boar, running away from us.
We set by the shore at night, watched the water break and the stars shine, and then a huge comet fell from the sky, I saw the reflection in the water. I'm itching to throw in more adjectives like "magical", "awesome" and so on, but even most of you are so far away from here, I'm sure you can picture it. I'm not getting used to the beauty that is Hawaii and Cinderland, and because life here is such a perfect mix of eventful and relaxed times, I find myself more in the moment than anywhere else before.

On Sunday we've been to the beach as people usually gather there on Sundays, some naked, some dressed, some playing in a drum circle, others swimming. This time the waves were quite high and getting in wasn't nearly as difficult as getting out. Luckily Tom reminded me to start trying to get out before we were too tired, and since I'm a little stupid I missed the wave so it ran over me and washed me ashore so that I didn't know where up or down was. At least I was under water so I spared myself the embarrassment but I had about a pound of stones in my underwear... Next time I'll post more photos (possibly) so you get to see the black sandy beach.

~~~

Me: So what's your plan today?
Him: I don't know, maybe to overthrow industrialized civilisation. But I'm already behind with my other goal.
Me: What's that?
Him: To destroy organized religion.

~~~

Sharing is caring, they say, and it's something you learn to deal with very quickly when living in a community. There are giving people (rainbows) and sometimes those who exclusively receive (drainbows); luckily Cinderland has more of the former. Yeah, I'm glad to be able to practise selfless giving, ie sharing without any expectations of getting something in return or even giving to the "right" person. Just giving. Fullstop.
But argh, sometimes it's hard to see people taking and taking without a second of consideration, their greedy eyes on the dinner still simmering on the stove. So need to learn to friendly turn them down when I don't feel like selflessly giving at the moment. Accept the challenges, but know your limits, right?!
Jezus is a generous guy so he has a hard time sending people away from the community if they can't contribute with work or money, and he does it not for his own sake but for everybody's sake since our resources are limited. And yet again, most people share the little bit they have without hesitation, especially travelers like me with hardly $20 in their pocket.

So I've spent almost 2 hours in the internet listening to music, until Dave (who owns the cafe and makes the best hot chocolate with whipped cream for $2 I had in my life!) comes and says maybe this time he needs to charge me some money. His spirit is great, since I've already spent about 5hrs being online and not paying... Then I'll make my way to the little organic supermarket and get a bottle of red wine, some eggs maybe and then walk to the junction to hitch a ride back to Cinderland. Now I need to post a song we've heard at the farm a lot, because, honestly, I suck at the last words...





And another one, cause Beck sounds so sad, and really, I'm extremely happy!

paradise, this time for real

All things have been leading to this place, right here where I am, there's no doubt about it. It's not only the re-encountering of ideas and certain similarities in peoples and places from the beginning of my trip. It's also every single step in between December last year and now, all along the way from India and Nepal, over South East Asia and across the United States many little things have built up to the state and place I'm in right now. Maybe it's the weather, the sunshine and rain we get every day, or it's the jungle I now live in, seeing green trees and bushes where ever I look, or it could be the beautiful people I'm living with, but probably it's all of it and more. Not knowing where I was gonna go (Mexico, Hawaii, ...) and not having much to distract me from this anxiety had been pushing me down. Those were the odd days. Now I'm in Hawaii, the land of rainbows and buffaloes*, and everything feels light, invigorating, much like paradise...

jumping off the cliffs near Honolulu

sunset in Honolulu

I'll try and share some little moments, because it's hard to tell about the days here in order, besides it's a little like I'm mentally off the grid... Some basic things that might help putting my stories in a context: after couch surfing in Honolulu with a great host called Kyle and his other couch surfers, Polish girls called Iza and Wiktoria, I flew to Hilo on the Big Island about a week ago. Now I'm living on a farm/ hippie community called Cinderland and having an awesome time! It's even a step further from Windarra Farm in India, here in Hawaii people just live as free as possible (take that, New Hampshire!), and I'm just going with the flow...

*buffaloes: comes from the Bob Marley song

~~~

Me: So whatcha doin tomorrow, wanna go into town?
He: Nah, I think I'm just gonna take some mushrooms and go into the hot pools by the ocean.

~~~

Coming to a new place, joining an existing community is always difficult and it takes time to melt into it. But at Cinderland everybody has been open and friendly towards me right from the start, so on the second night staying up late and playing music for the guys, I already felt at home! There's a dorm room for women that I moved into but there aren't many women here at the moment, so I enjoy my space to do lots of crafts (macrame!) and play music, and somebody always comes around to hang out. We're off the grid on the farm but have solar powered lights that work most of the time (more often than in India), I shower outside under the papaya and banana trees, cold of course. I love the sun, and as much as I'm eager to go back home and see all of my friends and family, I'm not looking forward to the cold and dark! But now I know why there were so many rainbow pictures of farms online... it rains every day! We have to go to the city and put clothes in the dryer if we want them to dry. At Cinderland there're some days that we work and some when we rest, but no matter what there's always something to do and new people to meet.
I wish I could write something more profound or at least funny right now but I'm kinda semantically drained on this beautiful Sat morning. So I'll go try and hitch a ride back to the farm (no internet there), why don't you turn of the computer and go and throw a disc for me? I miss frisbee... But well, I'm not complaining, no worries! Instead I'm excited about going back to the hot pools by the ocean under the full moon tonight.

~~~

Me: I think sometimes I'm too much of a hippie for guys to tolerate...
Girl: Really? But you aren't a real hippie, look, you shave!

~~~

PS: I heart Hawaii!
Aloha!

Jezus (say "Hey-sus", head of Cinderland), and the girls about to go to town

the jungle that is Cinderland, looking at Zen Den Dorm

the Goddess Dorm, my current home with jungle view

preparing for "Taco Tuesday" in the kitchen

new and hot

Don't expect anything profound today... I'm on holiday.
Where? Guess.

Got it? No? It's very hot here.
Maybe this picture will help.

Yes, that is the view from the balcony of the couch surfer I'm staying with. In Hawaii.
Fuck yeah.

I'm skipping the details for now, jumping to travel plans - and music! Lots and lots of good, new music, that I bet you haven't heard before.
So until Saturday I'll be in Honolulu (Oahu) and then I'll fly over to Hilo (Big Island) until the beginning of December. My next flight will be back to the east coast, and on Dec 16th I will finally fly back home, arriving in Frankfurt on Tue 17th, 8pm. See you there!

But before this whole trip is over, let's rock some! Listen now, thank me later.

the odd days

Someone once said that he liked how I wouldn't have any plans and still feel comfortable. Well, I guess I'm so done with having no plans! But with so many things being unclear, being undecided, no place to go... argh, I just want to go home. Seriously, I'm done! Hands down, it's been a great time but I may as well skip Hawaii (or Mexico) and come right home!
And then... what? Right. I know, it's ridiculous and idiotic, I'm gonna give up. Just because I'm having a hard time feeling lost and no idea what I want because it all seems equally problematic, doesn't mean I'm allowed to wait for wonder. Gotta pull myself together, it's just one of these rainy days...

What about those rainy days?
They say it's not a problem,
to get wet every now and then.
They say don't feel astray,
no need to worry, it happens to the best of us.
But those rainy days
is it just me
or is this really good irony?
the sky in shady greys
and the cold creeps up my bones
The water from my eyes
running down to rootless feet
while I know that all I need
is in between the lows and highs
ridiculously clear but ignored
Oh you rainy days
having nothing to offer me
you're not even scary
no external enemy
it's all in the inside, and that's not helping
what's wrong with me
happiness and it's infidelity
seriously
I need some smiles and hugs
and probably more drugs
oh what's that anger
what is this homesickness
this shitty loneliness
fucking moodiness
feelings like a double-rainbow
all the way
but it's just a rainy day

As I've noticed today is Nov 1st, it occurred to me that maybe I should not blog on odd days...