the odd days

Someone once said that he liked how I wouldn't have any plans and still feel comfortable. Well, I guess I'm so done with having no plans! But with so many things being unclear, being undecided, no place to go... argh, I just want to go home. Seriously, I'm done! Hands down, it's been a great time but I may as well skip Hawaii (or Mexico) and come right home!
And then... what? Right. I know, it's ridiculous and idiotic, I'm gonna give up. Just because I'm having a hard time feeling lost and no idea what I want because it all seems equally problematic, doesn't mean I'm allowed to wait for wonder. Gotta pull myself together, it's just one of these rainy days...

What about those rainy days?
They say it's not a problem,
to get wet every now and then.
They say don't feel astray,
no need to worry, it happens to the best of us.
But those rainy days
is it just me
or is this really good irony?
the sky in shady greys
and the cold creeps up my bones
The water from my eyes
running down to rootless feet
while I know that all I need
is in between the lows and highs
ridiculously clear but ignored
Oh you rainy days
having nothing to offer me
you're not even scary
no external enemy
it's all in the inside, and that's not helping
what's wrong with me
happiness and it's infidelity
seriously
I need some smiles and hugs
and probably more drugs
oh what's that anger
what is this homesickness
this shitty loneliness
fucking moodiness
feelings like a double-rainbow
all the way
but it's just a rainy day

As I've noticed today is Nov 1st, it occurred to me that maybe I should not blog on odd days...