loop station

Though I'm back where I've started from, this blog is not gonna end just because I made it back home. Maybe here is where the real trouble begins, because I yet have to prove that I can make it in the western world, survive the glimmering shine of consumerism and not get tangled up in the illusion of possibilities, or get lost in the maze of possesions. I didn't expect the world of comfort to bore me so quickly, or to reveal it's dead-end-nature to me at this point already. One week of being back in Germany, and already bored of traffic lights, scheduled trains and first world problems. Seriously?

If it wasn't for friends and family, I hadn't had a reason to come back, this is honest. What does Germany have to offer to me, especialy in winter? Except for cheap, great beer, convenient health insurance and Weihnachtsmärkte? I mean, what I can I get my satisfaction from, after the good cheese, chocolate and humoristic sarcasm? I thought I have to go back and get a job, to show the world I'm serious about being a helpful part of society, when actually I'm too young to be reasonable. Yes, I want a family, and yes, I want at least something to rely on, but am I ready for this trade? I guess I always have a choice, I could go traveling again if I really wanted. But I've been craving friends and family for a reason, I needed to recharge. Now that I've met them, during christmas and before, seeing them all hapy to see me, is this it? Was this really just an ego thing, to see if anybody misses me and prove I'm worth something? Hello, who is this helping? Not me!

See, this is why I hate growing up, when you realise it's ALL up to you, how happy you are, or sad, or angry, or whatever, but in the end you're in control! Because, who's gonna keep you from achieving what you really want? Only yourself, indeed, doesn't this suck somehow?
Not really, since we're all human, we're meant to fail, to learn, to go beyond where our little brains thought we could go, and our hearts have always desired.

And yes, I'm writing this while listening to my favourite music and thinking about my appointment at the job center tomorrow, deciding about how much money I'm gonna get for not working. I'm a lucky bastard who has as much loving parents, friends, family as anyone can deserve and yet dares to complain about life lacking something. Well, if this doesn't prove, only you can make yourself happy, I don't know what could. So thanks to April and white wine for pointing this out to me!

 This is the song I'd been looking for. Thanks, Tom, for my new ohrwurm.

PS: You know you're back in Germany when... you start complaining! Everybody here always seems to have something to moan about, but so far I've kept my inner calmness and smile away most of the trouble. And that's the point: there is no real trouble. Today, about a couple of days later from my words above, I know what's missing. The difficulties. The unknown of every day. And the green.
Maybe I'm not made for the organized comforts of the modern world anymore, since I feel I'm longing for challenges, not for distraction. Maybe I won't find my future here and I'll be gone again soon to keep looking. Maybe I just need a job and get back into ultimate to make good use of my energy... Anyhow, we know time will tell and, besides, I should take action.

and then... shit got real!

Sometimes when I re-read a blog post, I wonder if anybody even understands half of the things I'm talking about, because I'm changing subjects and perspectives faster than politicians change their mind after elections. Guess I should take less drugs when writing, or more, but the current amount is inefficient... Oh yeah, and stepping on the brakes of sarcasm would help, too.

Anyways, because I care about you readers and don't only wanna use this as an online diary to be read back home with a continuous deep long sigh, I will make an extra effort to be clear. And maybe, post more pictures.

So, since it's been very hectic at the end of my travels, I gotta catch up with some things. First of all, the place I miss most... Hawaii, right, got my mind set on you. I mean, I'm slowly getting over it, because life in NYC or Burlington was never dull. And yet I'm already checking flights back to Hilo... Before I got to Hawaii, I thought it would just be another holiday destination with some comfortably high numbers on the thermometer, but then... shit got real. May this be the last effort to try and tell about the beautiful craziness I dealt with on a daily basis in Cinderland, leading to a new perspectives and priorities in life.

I'm gonna continue were I stopped last time, based on my journal writing from Dec 4th: it's about happiness.

Of course I get a little scared being too content when knowing things are constantly changing. We've invented time, and gave the time in between sunrise and sunset names that we repeat every seven of them, to get this feeling of control and organization. But it only masks the fact that no day is ever the same. We're all constantly learning, feeling and moving, no matter which direction, we're just never still. And at a place like Cinderland, I've noticed this more than anywhere, having so much undefined time on my hands.

camping trip, Volcano NP

simple, smart, waterproof

Catha, Steffen, Lia, Tom

So change becomes the only constant in life we can completely rely on, which again is scary and exciting at once. Oh yes, life has always been this paradox, and for a long time, it was the only perception of life I had: the extremes. Most of my time on earth, my reality had been divided in right and wrong, black and white, happy and sad; until I moved further away to get a broader perspective. It was hard to let go, set out and travel, move away from all my comforts, starting off into the unknown. Man, I missed my friends! And as much as I love traveling, it sometimes takes a lot to be on the road. Still, the reward is huge, I had many great teachers, not only in Cinderland, opening new doors for me, to look at my life from a new perspective. That's how I encountered a lot of things in between the extremes. I learned about my ego and how to deal with it, sometimes controlling it and other times just watching myself being controlled by it. And because everything is constantly changing, the extremes have changed, too, and with that in mind I became less attached to certain people, certain feelings, certain goods. (at least in theory)

camping on Ho'okena Beach

Ho'okena lunch

dinner

Also I started looking critically at labels and categories I was used to, like nationality, gender, age and so on. Living at Cinderland and usually hanging out with guys who are quite a bit older and yet having as much fun as with people my age, reminded me that a person is a lot more than one of their categories. That's important to me since I don't want to be perceived exclusively as a women, German, hippie, younameit. And that's why I would love to live in a community, to experience to whole range of humanity with all it's diversity. Of course it takes some compromises but in the long term, I believe I'll profit from so many different relationships.

breakfast in shorts, Dec 1st

surfing with Adam, Dec 1st

posing in the sand, Dec 1st

Here people seem to take care of each other. After a couple of weeks, when I felt down, I could totally walk over to one of the men and lean on his shoulder and cry a bit. In a community, there's always someone to hang out with, basically it never gets boring. Oh yeah, there's a lot of drama, like anywhere else, because that's what humans do. And part of what makes me feel so happy here is, that for every fight, all the yelling and mean words, there are twice as many hugs and "I love you". To have both of these energies in a community, the destructive and loving one, makes it genuine for me. I much rather be with openly struggling people saying they need a beer every day to not feel bad, than with those denying their problems and pretending, just because they have a job and a car everything's alright. (please excuse my simple words, my b&w painting here, but I'm trying to proof a point)

lava stone and palm trees: that's Hawaii

jumping off into "The World's End"

camping crew's goodbye at the cliffs

I know Cinderland isn't perfect, there are huge problems here, on many levels. People come and go, some get kicked out, there isn't a valid system in place to run the community. Yet. So living there would be a trade: the freedom to live outside and live out my personality, but letting go of a certain security and order. Even though I think it's the best way for people to live in communities, I know it wouldn't make everybody happy. I only wish more people had the chance to try and then make a conscious decision about their live style.

hanging out in the dorm

snorkeling at the tide pools 

Cody, Lia, Tom at the tide pools

As I've said before, Cinderland (and even Hawaii) is such a different world, it's hard for anyone anywhere else to imagine how good it feels for me, to be sitting on a couch under an open roof, listening to the sound of the banana leaves in the wind, feeling the warm temperatures on my bare arms and legs, seeing people walking by the dorm through the non-existing doors and windows. A place like this, so plentiful, green and alive, makes it easy to do without certain comforts. I don't mind squatting over a hole when doing my business, as long as I can see the palm trees in the sun, or hear the mating frogs at night. And thanks to the person, who ALWAYS refilled the toilet paper, so that every single time I needed some I had some. Awesome.

the woods in between Cinderland and Pahoa

with the magically beautiful trees

full moon over the lava rocks

I don't really know if life here is better or even if a future in any kind of community would be the better choice for me, so I will go back home and try to live my old life in new ways.

(written Dec 4th)

~~~****~~~

The End Of Moving 

Soundtrack for the end of my travels - as I made it home in one piece two days ago.

1. The War On Drugs - Red Eyes. A band a friend of mine knew and that just seems to get big. I love their style.

2. Grateful Dead - Friend Of The Devil. We listened a lot them in Cinderland, on those rare occasions we had 'canned' music. Late but lovely discovery for me.

3. Jake Bugg - Simple As This. As I love new artists who sound like the old ones and yet new, this boy got me. Makes me think of sunshine.

4. The National - Fake Empire. One of those bands proofing that America has tons of fantastic music I have yet to discover. So I keep listening to KCRW (Los Angeles), WERS (Boston) and KEXP (Seattle).

5. Grace Potter & The Nocturnals - Stars. Great band from Vermont, that we heard at a festival at the lake. I remember the moon over the water that night, and the stars, when they played that song.

6. London Grammar - Strong. I've posted another song of this cool band before, but this one makes me shiver. Heard it about a dozen times on journey from Boston to Frankfurt.

7. Graffiti6 - Over You. This travels has been a lot about loving and leaving so many friends, and this is a beautiful love song.
8. Kopecky Family Band - Are You Listening. It sounds like I'm in a car on a road trip, without a destination but with friends on the back seat, sun in their hair, looking at the rolling hills.
9. The Mynabirds - Numbers Don't Lie. I've chosen this great song until I've found out the name of the fantastic song we've always heard in the car on our trips around Cinderland.
10. Vance Joy -  Riptide. Puts the beats to my memories of all the fun at Cinderland, of Kahena Sundays and our camping trip.
Bonus: Pete Townshend - Save It For Later (live). Simply appropriate for the end of the end of moving.

(t)here

\\sometime in late Nov:\\

Looking down at my arms and legs, it looks a little bit like I've been in a war. When all I tried to do was cutting some cane grass and walking around Cinderland, jumping over paletts. Luckily I was wearing long pants, despite the heat, so I got some bruises but no staph infection... As mentioned before, I love using the cold outdoor shower in the back of my dorm, under the palm trees, watching mongeese running by. These f***ers, they managed to break into our food save (read: wooden cupboard) and ate all the bread I'd baked before. In this climate it's more than easy, conditions are perfect for the dough to rise. The last two Mondays in a row we had pizza night because it's so cheap, simple, tasty and feeds a lot of people!
Luckily we have almost no mosquitoes because Jezus is searching Cinderland for potential and actual breeding places (any little amount of stagnant water) and destroys them. At night the air is filled with the sounds of frogs...

That's how far I got last time I tried to post. I can't believe there was a time not even a week ago when I had to hitchhike to town to go online and therefor used the internet only every five days or so. It's Sunday today, which means it's Kahena beach day...

Yeah, in my mind, I'm still in Hawaii. For once on this trip around the world I had booked a flight further in advance than just a couple of weeks, and let me tell you: it sucked. For all the places I've been to, it had never felt so wrong to leave, it wasn't my time yet. All I wanted was to stay, just for another week at Cinderland! Instead I came to cold on rainy New York City on a lonely Fri night, lost an earring on the way to the hostel that wasn't only dirty but had no computers, got helped by a handful of great people and then found out that Bhava wasn't gonna come to explore the Big Apple with me. But at the same time I felt lost, I knew I was gonna be ok... at some point.

balloons in Brooklyn

And now I'm sitting in another hostel, very clean, with a public computer, and on top of that: great people for interesting and profound conversations, though we've just met the same day. I had needed somebody to get involved with, feeling like I was just floating around, and since I'd opened up to the possibility of new encounters, it happened faster than I could say, "thanks universe - and oh wow is it already St Nicolaus Day?" So after this rugged start I'm having a fantastic time in NYC, I even got my ass out the door and saw

Only today I'm staying in because we were all hanging out in the hostel, chatting, playing music to each other and after another try of recharging, suddenly my mp3 player worked again. I knew it!!! All this time after it broke in the wet climate of Puna side, I was convinced I'll be able to use it again one day. So Dec 8th will now be "almost christmas" for me, it's like diving into a lake after 3 weeks in the desert!




Anyways, it obviously felt like it was the wrong decision to come to NYC, whereas 'wrong' only means the less comfortable one. It's obviously nicer and cheaper being in Hawaii but there had been a reason back then, that made me come here and I won't regret anything, so I open eyes, ears and heart to learn my lessons in the big city. While my Cinderland friends will play in the waves on the black sand of Kahena, I'll be watching my new hostel friends performing at a private show tonight somewhere in Manhattan. It's always a trade, I know that, and for now all I have are the great memories of incredible days and nights in the jungle and a life without time or stress. I believe it'll make me happy for a long time from now.

A lot of times in the past three weeks, I got to acknowledge how I was truly happy. It's both wonderful and a little scary to realize how fulfilling life can be, when in the same moment of appreciation an anxiety kicks in, about possibly loosing this happiness. But then again these positive feelings are precious because they are rare in such intensity, and it all makes sense. 

\\written Dec 4th\\

even in the sad moments like leaving Hilo, life made me laugh

a different world

Aloha from the Island! It's very warm and I'm thinking about hitching to the ocean, if I knew which direction to go... A cold shower in the back of my dorm, under the palm trees, that'll be just as great. I came to town today to get some things done, do some shopping for things that don't grow on the farm, check my emails, see what the date it is etc. Because in Cinderland there's no time, every day I wake up and wonder what time it is until I realize it doesn't matter. Yes, we work and we make appointments but people never know exactly what time it is. No, I'm not the only one without a cell phone, instead those who have one are the excotic kinds!

So what's new? Well, two nights ago it was too early to go to bed because the moon was still almost full and with only a few clouds we could walk around without our headlights on. A guy called Rob and I set out for the mermaid ponds, about 30mins away from Cinderland. When we turned right into the woods, we found ourselves under huge mango trees, beautifully illuminated here and there by the silver moon light, the scent of flowers still floating in the warm night breeze and no sounds but the frogs and birds in the jungle, and a distant drummer (possibly sleepless). There were some noises behind the low scrubs, which turned out to be wild boar, running away from us.
We set by the shore at night, watched the water break and the stars shine, and then a huge comet fell from the sky, I saw the reflection in the water. I'm itching to throw in more adjectives like "magical", "awesome" and so on, but even most of you are so far away from here, I'm sure you can picture it. I'm not getting used to the beauty that is Hawaii and Cinderland, and because life here is such a perfect mix of eventful and relaxed times, I find myself more in the moment than anywhere else before.

On Sunday we've been to the beach as people usually gather there on Sundays, some naked, some dressed, some playing in a drum circle, others swimming. This time the waves were quite high and getting in wasn't nearly as difficult as getting out. Luckily Tom reminded me to start trying to get out before we were too tired, and since I'm a little stupid I missed the wave so it ran over me and washed me ashore so that I didn't know where up or down was. At least I was under water so I spared myself the embarrassment but I had about a pound of stones in my underwear... Next time I'll post more photos (possibly) so you get to see the black sandy beach.

~~~

Me: So what's your plan today?
Him: I don't know, maybe to overthrow industrialized civilisation. But I'm already behind with my other goal.
Me: What's that?
Him: To destroy organized religion.

~~~

Sharing is caring, they say, and it's something you learn to deal with very quickly when living in a community. There are giving people (rainbows) and sometimes those who exclusively receive (drainbows); luckily Cinderland has more of the former. Yeah, I'm glad to be able to practise selfless giving, ie sharing without any expectations of getting something in return or even giving to the "right" person. Just giving. Fullstop.
But argh, sometimes it's hard to see people taking and taking without a second of consideration, their greedy eyes on the dinner still simmering on the stove. So need to learn to friendly turn them down when I don't feel like selflessly giving at the moment. Accept the challenges, but know your limits, right?!
Jezus is a generous guy so he has a hard time sending people away from the community if they can't contribute with work or money, and he does it not for his own sake but for everybody's sake since our resources are limited. And yet again, most people share the little bit they have without hesitation, especially travelers like me with hardly $20 in their pocket.

So I've spent almost 2 hours in the internet listening to music, until Dave (who owns the cafe and makes the best hot chocolate with whipped cream for $2 I had in my life!) comes and says maybe this time he needs to charge me some money. His spirit is great, since I've already spent about 5hrs being online and not paying... Then I'll make my way to the little organic supermarket and get a bottle of red wine, some eggs maybe and then walk to the junction to hitch a ride back to Cinderland. Now I need to post a song we've heard at the farm a lot, because, honestly, I suck at the last words...





And another one, cause Beck sounds so sad, and really, I'm extremely happy!

paradise, this time for real

All things have been leading to this place, right here where I am, there's no doubt about it. It's not only the re-encountering of ideas and certain similarities in peoples and places from the beginning of my trip. It's also every single step in between December last year and now, all along the way from India and Nepal, over South East Asia and across the United States many little things have built up to the state and place I'm in right now. Maybe it's the weather, the sunshine and rain we get every day, or it's the jungle I now live in, seeing green trees and bushes where ever I look, or it could be the beautiful people I'm living with, but probably it's all of it and more. Not knowing where I was gonna go (Mexico, Hawaii, ...) and not having much to distract me from this anxiety had been pushing me down. Those were the odd days. Now I'm in Hawaii, the land of rainbows and buffaloes*, and everything feels light, invigorating, much like paradise...

jumping off the cliffs near Honolulu

sunset in Honolulu

I'll try and share some little moments, because it's hard to tell about the days here in order, besides it's a little like I'm mentally off the grid... Some basic things that might help putting my stories in a context: after couch surfing in Honolulu with a great host called Kyle and his other couch surfers, Polish girls called Iza and Wiktoria, I flew to Hilo on the Big Island about a week ago. Now I'm living on a farm/ hippie community called Cinderland and having an awesome time! It's even a step further from Windarra Farm in India, here in Hawaii people just live as free as possible (take that, New Hampshire!), and I'm just going with the flow...

*buffaloes: comes from the Bob Marley song

~~~

Me: So whatcha doin tomorrow, wanna go into town?
He: Nah, I think I'm just gonna take some mushrooms and go into the hot pools by the ocean.

~~~

Coming to a new place, joining an existing community is always difficult and it takes time to melt into it. But at Cinderland everybody has been open and friendly towards me right from the start, so on the second night staying up late and playing music for the guys, I already felt at home! There's a dorm room for women that I moved into but there aren't many women here at the moment, so I enjoy my space to do lots of crafts (macrame!) and play music, and somebody always comes around to hang out. We're off the grid on the farm but have solar powered lights that work most of the time (more often than in India), I shower outside under the papaya and banana trees, cold of course. I love the sun, and as much as I'm eager to go back home and see all of my friends and family, I'm not looking forward to the cold and dark! But now I know why there were so many rainbow pictures of farms online... it rains every day! We have to go to the city and put clothes in the dryer if we want them to dry. At Cinderland there're some days that we work and some when we rest, but no matter what there's always something to do and new people to meet.
I wish I could write something more profound or at least funny right now but I'm kinda semantically drained on this beautiful Sat morning. So I'll go try and hitch a ride back to the farm (no internet there), why don't you turn of the computer and go and throw a disc for me? I miss frisbee... But well, I'm not complaining, no worries! Instead I'm excited about going back to the hot pools by the ocean under the full moon tonight.

~~~

Me: I think sometimes I'm too much of a hippie for guys to tolerate...
Girl: Really? But you aren't a real hippie, look, you shave!

~~~

PS: I heart Hawaii!
Aloha!

Jezus (say "Hey-sus", head of Cinderland), and the girls about to go to town

the jungle that is Cinderland, looking at Zen Den Dorm

the Goddess Dorm, my current home with jungle view

preparing for "Taco Tuesday" in the kitchen

new and hot

Don't expect anything profound today... I'm on holiday.
Where? Guess.

Got it? No? It's very hot here.
Maybe this picture will help.

Yes, that is the view from the balcony of the couch surfer I'm staying with. In Hawaii.
Fuck yeah.

I'm skipping the details for now, jumping to travel plans - and music! Lots and lots of good, new music, that I bet you haven't heard before.
So until Saturday I'll be in Honolulu (Oahu) and then I'll fly over to Hilo (Big Island) until the beginning of December. My next flight will be back to the east coast, and on Dec 16th I will finally fly back home, arriving in Frankfurt on Tue 17th, 8pm. See you there!

But before this whole trip is over, let's rock some! Listen now, thank me later.

the odd days

Someone once said that he liked how I wouldn't have any plans and still feel comfortable. Well, I guess I'm so done with having no plans! But with so many things being unclear, being undecided, no place to go... argh, I just want to go home. Seriously, I'm done! Hands down, it's been a great time but I may as well skip Hawaii (or Mexico) and come right home!
And then... what? Right. I know, it's ridiculous and idiotic, I'm gonna give up. Just because I'm having a hard time feeling lost and no idea what I want because it all seems equally problematic, doesn't mean I'm allowed to wait for wonder. Gotta pull myself together, it's just one of these rainy days...

What about those rainy days?
They say it's not a problem,
to get wet every now and then.
They say don't feel astray,
no need to worry, it happens to the best of us.
But those rainy days
is it just me
or is this really good irony?
the sky in shady greys
and the cold creeps up my bones
The water from my eyes
running down to rootless feet
while I know that all I need
is in between the lows and highs
ridiculously clear but ignored
Oh you rainy days
having nothing to offer me
you're not even scary
no external enemy
it's all in the inside, and that's not helping
what's wrong with me
happiness and it's infidelity
seriously
I need some smiles and hugs
and probably more drugs
oh what's that anger
what is this homesickness
this shitty loneliness
fucking moodiness
feelings like a double-rainbow
all the way
but it's just a rainy day

As I've noticed today is Nov 1st, it occurred to me that maybe I should not blog on odd days...

travel mind fuzz

It's a Monday morning, time to think about Hawaii.
For two reasons, a) to get distracted from my weird-as-usual dreams in which I'd been inviting too many of the kids from the neighbourhood to a house I didn't live in, and also randomly fell in love with a guy who had a hawaiian name and made his own coffee (see the connection?). And b) because I may fly to Hawaii, to work on a farm.
So, what happened to Mexico?
Well, I haven't dismissed it as my next destination, yet. It's just so much easier to get around Hawaii, and a lot safer. Mexico is cheaper and I'd probably get to learn some Spanish, plus the culture is more interesting. If I only wasn't traveling alone, I would be less worried about safety. I mean, who wants to kidnap me, anyways, I talk too much! So they'd probably shoot me right away, but then again I don't really have any money and a credit card that expires in a month, so that doesn't make sense. That leaves raping as a potential danger, possibly by more than one person, which doesn't sound like "a challenging experience" I'd like to have before the end of this trip... After this blunt look at various scenarios (exaggerated, I know) I feel that Hawaii is seriously considered, especially since flights are just as cheap as to Mexico. Yeah, right?! What's all that thinking about?? Hawaii it is, then!

But... you see, I'm horrible at making decisions. For a long time I'd make lots and lots of plans (for those who remember, South America used to be part of them), going back and forth about where to go and just waiting until the flights start getting expensive. In the end it doesn't matter too much to which beautiful place I'm going, it more depends on coincidence, like meeting someone who has been at a place and so on. I might as well flip a coin! I once wrote as essay about that way of making decisions in my psychology class and the bottom line was: why not?!
Ok, let's do it right now. Canadian 5ct, saying Elizabeth II. is going to Hawaii, the beaver is going to Mexico. Flipping and...
I drop the coin.
I drop the coin a second time.
Now the beaver is looking at me.
Vamos a Mexico!

Seriously? I don't know. And where will I go after Mexico or Hawaii? Cuba? New York or Boston? The coin says Cuba. Hm, it must have a soft spot for weaker economies.

Anyways, welcome to my everyday life and typical mind fuzz. Making decisions and procrastinating. Drinking more coffee. Enjoying the beautiful, beautiful places I'm visiting. And being worried about my future. I doubt that anybody but other travellers (or students in social studies) understands what I'm talking about, thinking: "WTF is she talking about??" It's like I'm in a parallel world, where 'normal' means madness, almost every day.
And because most of you are working, you all got something to keep your mind busy with, you don't need to worry how to spend your energy. All that's left for my brain to work on, though, are the things above and how to do more thrift shopping without putting more weight into my backpack. That's what this blog is for: sharing insights from a mysterious world of a long-term traveller.

Now we need some music, for real, otherwise it becomes unbearable. Also, I've talked too much, time to let others speak.



I am a women of leisure
I've been looking for the end of want
I don't want it but I need
Well come one baby won't you gimme some

I haven't talked enough about love, have I? As an essential topic of this blog, besides being an essential part of life... I found that being hopelessly romantic doesn't get you anywhere, but at least it gets you through the day.

Holy Roller roll over me
I'm looking for something else to see
Lasts so long, hurts so bad
But I want love in the aftermath

Again you may not understand wtf I'm talking about when I say I don't believe in love anymore. Not to last, not for me, not in this life, at least. Every sweet encounter is followed by trouble and worries, after every high comes the inevitable low, every hello implicates goodbye. I'm so done screwing up. (this needs some more explanation. later. much later)
But I'm still dreaming...



I STOOD ALONE UPON THE PLATFORM IN VAIN
THE PUERTO RICANS THEY WERE PLAYING THEIR SALSA IN THE RAIN
WITH OPEN DOORS AND MANUAL LOCKS
IN FAST FOOD PARKING LOTS

I HEADED WEST I WAS A MAN ON THE MOVE
NEW YORK IT LIED TO ME I NEEDED THE TRUTH
OH I NEED SOMEBODY, I NEED SOMEONE I COULD TRUST
AND I DON’T GAMBLE, BUT IF I DID I WOULD BET ON US

It takes courage to love, that I don't have anymore, and patience, that I never really had.
"Everything in life you try to force will resist.", said the yoga instructor in Vancouver on Sat morning, I think he was not only talking about our muscles.



EVERYONE THINKS I’M A LION*
NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH
IF IT WAS A BIGGER FIRE
I WOULD BE ON THE ROOF

But fear is also an issue for me, especially since the lazy life of a traveller doesn't bear distraction all of the time. Facing my fears has been a great way to learn a lot about myself and I've got more courage than I used to have, so yay for that. But sometimes I really just want to poop my pants! I mean, my future! What am I gonna do? Become a hippie? And the present! Where am I gonna go? (Not that topic again...) And the past! What the ...?
I know. I shouldn't worry. But I guess it just means that I care, that I'm passionate. Yeah, let's just call it 'passionate thinking' instead of worrying. And the next person telling me I'm thinking too much, I'm gonna pull their underpants over their head! Because it'll likely be the same person telling me to take care. Hah!

Now you lucky Europeans out there better BOOK YOUR TICKETS for the great band I've just posted, because not only are The Lumineers on tour but also their support act is... Thao & The Get Down Stay Down! How awesome is that?! See them in Cologne, for example, for less than 40euro. Check it out! And make me jealous for once...


*this is what I understood, "lion", and I liked it. but really, they're singing "liar", but this just wouldn't be appropriate at this point. yes, I'm making my own reality here!

Bilderbuch story

Hey friends!

Finally, I've left America and made it over the border to Canada. Here's the picture book story of my last week on the west coast.
But before we start, here're some musical candies for you! (more about this newest playlist at the end)




This story starts  in Aptos (south of San Franciso), with a sunset. On the beach. F**k yeah!

Pretty cool, huh? It's the same old story, every night the sun sets but it keeps being beautiful.

And that's Aaron, just another hero on my travels, hosting me in his awesome beach house. Guess how we know each other! Right, from ultimate frisbee in Frankfurt!

You could say he lives in a dangerous neighbourhood, just before the safety line (his house is on the far left). But really it was just nice being 5mins walking distance from the beach, hearing the waves through the open window at night. 

So I did go to the ocean the other day! Remember when I said I might go in? I did! It was cold, but not freezing.

Aaaand I saw dolphins! I swam out to reach them but they were too fast and the cold water tired me out quickly. Still, it was nice watching them.

Lia in California, in a swimsuit, in mid October. (hard to believe even now, one week later!)

Oh, these days in Aptos, full of chill time, music, cooking and hanging out with Aaron. It was... don't say the word... AWESOME!

And then it was time to leave, with the bus to Hayward, where I met more smiling people than ever. And I went into my first real American diner!

The waitress was seriously impressed by all my luggage, and I enjoyed her genuine interest in my travel stories, and - of course - the free coffee refill.

Now, how did I get to Portland? Well, there's this thing called Craigslist...

So this is Franck and a very small airplane. I met them both on the internet, Craigslist, right! It was cheaper to fly with him than taking the Greyhound bus. Oh, and a lot more scenic.

Northern California from above. It was a clear day and not very windy, also my smile was as wide as the landscape. Hehehe, I was giggling with so much excitement.

I wasn't allowed to try and fly, shame, but he explained most of the buttons to me. I tried to learn what to do in case he passes out and I have to land the plane.

Of course it wasn't necessary, we were as safe as can be!

And oh, the view! We passed by the Burning Man location and some snow covered mountains in southern Oregon.

Yeah, now that's what traveling should be like. Always.

After 3.5hrs we arrived in Portland, doesn't it look so beautiful?

After the landing, we get an appropriate hello. My facial muscles are sore from all the smiling... Servus, Portland!

Because I am a lucky bastard, a great guy and his girlfriend let me couch surf with them. 

Friday morning I was taken downtown to explore the city...

You know you're in a hipster town when the first thing you visit is a bookstore. Anyways, I really liked it!

First thing to see in the city: Washington Park. Hard to describe how beautiful it was, and how silent. At least you get one photo.

Also the view towards Mt Hood was nice. I can totally imagine living there. (In the park I mean)

Another downtown Portland impression, though I should have taken a picture in that cafe with all the hipsters. I had to pull myself together not to LOL, it was like being in a movie. Awesome.

And here the little family I had the privilege to stay with over the weekend: Kyle, Lindsay and Kevin the cat. We cooked great food, drank good wine and went to a concert I do not remember a lot from...

This is the house, seen from the backyard. We watched the full moon in those chairs before cruising around the city to fantastic music. Also Kevin sleeps in the tent when it rains.

The suburbs of Portland, or a little part of American culture. I really wanna see more suburbs!

A great host as he is, Kyle also took me to a micro-brewery; Portland is famous for them. It's just... I can't drink Ale, I'm sorry, America!

Some last Portland-at-sunset-impressions...

A huge thanks to you guys, for hosting me, playing frisbee in the park, puzzling, taking me out and back home (incl. all the pee-breaks, deer watching and other things on fri night I don't remember)

Oh, in Portland I also found the most interesting toilet ever...

...and the missing piece (which has a meaning, I just have to figure it out).

Plus, of course there was strawberry cake after all!

So the west coast was ... yes, I need to say it again: AWESOME!

So long, America, I had a great time! And who knows, I might be back sooner than you can say "Never before I cared about HALLOWEEN."

Lia looking for the next adventure: Canada

* ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ *

get up it's a beautiful day

...because it's fall and getting up gets harder, here's some help for every morning of the week. Or if you're a student, listen to the whole playlist every morning.

1. Little Comets - Bridge Burn: You like the Kooks but think they are as shallow as creek water? Try this band. Reminds me of Aptos beach...

2. Modest Mouse - Float On: Great tune for walking through a park in the sunshine, writing postcards. Classic!

3. Gypsy & The Cat - Bloom: Another jewel heard on FM4, which doesn't only kick you out of bed but also kicks off the night.

4. The Heavy - How Do You Like Me Now: The one song guaranteeing that I don't miss my 6.30am bus and yet doesn't make me angry waking me up at 4...

5. The Black Keys - Everlasting Light: Finally I got into this band, took me way too long. These great beats took me through the streets of Portland.

6. Broken Social Scene - World Sick: Perfect song for a chilled and thrilled waking up on a Saturday. I've wanted to hear the album ever since I found a review in a music magazine about 4 years ago...

7. The Naked And Famous - Young Blood: I probably shouldn't like this song, except it's so catchy, includes the lyrics "yeah, yeah, yeah" and the band is from New Zealand!